How to Talk to Your Spouse Who Says You Work Too Much

Strong marriages and relationships require attention from both partners. This balance of attention to spouse versus earning a living or furthering your career can be difficult to find. And, once you have found a balance that works in your relationship, things change and you have to find the balance again.

Why do some people overwork? The Overworking Spouse may be under considerable stress on the job, or may have a boss that demands long hours. Or maybe there are layoffs coming up and the less productive workers are the first to go. Maybe one partner has to work long hours just to support the family. On the other hand, the overworking spouse may be strongly identifying with career advancement to the exclusion of the marriage. Of course, we should be involved in work that is worthwhile, fulfilling and financially rewarding but over focus can put the marriage at risk.

What can happen when you put your work/career first? Your spouse may be feeling emotionally disconnected from you and lonely. There may be a buildup of resentment which can lead to anger and finally bitterness-towards you. This situation often leads to unhappiness and discord for the entire family.

As a psychologist who has worked for 20 years counseling couples in my therapy practice in North St. Paul, MN, I met with Amy and Josh with just this complaint. Amy was complaining that she was overburdened because Josh worked too much and left her with the responsibilities of home, children, and her own 40-hour job. He knew she was right but he felt defensive when she tried to tell him how to manage his work schedule. He’d started complaining that when wasn’t very affectionate lately and always blamed her disinterest in their physical intimacy on fatigue. He asked to meet with me individually after Amy had had a session to talk about her “side”of the problem. He was appreciative that she was not as naggy as she had been in the past, but he still felt blamed and criticized.

When Josh and I met, we talked of the reasons that he was spending so much time at work. The usual reasons people overwork is that they are feeling under considerable stress on the job, or may have a boss that demands long hours. Or maybe there are layoffs coming up and the less productive works are the first to go. Maybe one partner has to work long hours just to support the family. On the hand, the overworking spouse may be strongly identifying with career advancement to the exclusion of the marriage.

Drs. John and Julie Gottman, in their book 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, suggest the following questions:

1.What does your work mean to you?

2.What pleasure or satisfaction does work bring to you?

3.What need does working fulfill in your life?

4.Does your work related to some personal legacy you would like to contribute to the world?

In a discussion with Josh, he pointed out that he was trying to make headway in his career now, while he was still young and had the energy. He knew his wife was doing a good job parenting their two small children (3 years and 9 months) so he wanted to focus on earning good money for his family. At first, he couldn’t understand why Amy was complaining so much because he was doing all this work for her and their children. He felt it was his responsibility. He wanted to provide his children with a fund for their education.

I suggested he consider the questions listed above. He said that his work is very satisfying in that he felt very confident and capable at work. He also wanted to meet his father’s expectations who had had a successful career. His older two brothers had moved from job to job and he knew his father was disappointed that they had difficulty supporting their families.

It was important for Josh to understand the underlying reasons for his excessive hours at work. He did not have a demanding boss and he was in no threat of a layoff. He just wanted to do the right thing. He had not thought of himself as having value over and above that of a worker and wage earner. He resigned himself to have a discussion with Amy. He said he would try to listen carefully about what Amy was longing for when she complained to him. I suggested he try to imagine the experiences she wanted to have with him and not to focus on her criticisms.

When Amy and Josh came for the next couple’s session, they wanted to further discuss the overworking situation. (They no longer saw the problem as residing inside one of them but as a problem the two of them need to figure out.) Any was able to explain to him what she missed when he work so much. He came to get a sense that his contribution to their family was not solely a financial responsibility. He heard her tell him he was also loved, appreciated, and needed as a friend, confidant and co-parent. She especially enjoyed his easy humor with their children and felt he was the only one who would be able to provide that.

This was a difficult issue for this couple and it was not resolved quickly. They were able to discuss their needs and wants in a different way when they addressed the questions about the underlying reasons for their positions.

The State Of Paralegal Employment In The United States

In 2004, Paralegal jobs and legal assistant’s jobs amounted to about 224,000 positions in all sectors of the economy of the United States. 84% of these had Paralegal qualifications above both Associate’s and Bachelor’s Degree, with about 10% Paralegals who had higher degrees leaving only about 6% Paralegals who have been trained on the job and working without formal Paralegal education.

As was in the beginning, private law firms controlled the lion share of employing about 70% of all working Paralegals then; today, according to present day employment statistics, this number has fallen as the Paralegal profession continues to expand into deferent fields of human endeavor. Many paralegals and legal assistants these days work for corporate legal departments and various levels of government agencies and None governmental organizations..

The U.S. Department of Justice is the largest employer of Paralegal within the Federal Government, followed by the Social Security Administration and the U.S. Department of the Treasury. State governments and Counties are also increasingly employing Paralegals to help make legal services available to the common man on the street.

More Paralegals are setting up private Paralegal offices in states where the law provides such privileges and work as freelance legal assistants, contracting their services to attorneys or corporate legal departments.

It is hoped that in the nearest future the Paralegal profession would be robust enough to receive country wide approval for Paralegals to practice freely providing legal assistance to all and sundry according to the law. This will be a step in the right direction considering that in the United Kingdom, Solicitors play the same roles as registered legal practitioners.

Internet Marketing – The Basic Step of SEO in “Off Page Optimization”

SEO or Search Engine Optimization it the most important thing in Internet Marketing. It is the way of website optimization, sometimes how to be search engine friendly, so our site can appear on the first page of search results on the search engines, and so we can get free traffic from search engines.

SEO has 2 important phases:

  1. Optimization on the site itself (On-page Optimization)
  2. Optimization beyond the site (Off-page Optimization)

This time I will describe what is "off-page optimization".

What is Off-Page Optimization?

In a simple word Off-Page Optimization is the activities we do on our site with the goal of creating robots that search engines rate sites our site is famous among other sites. This is also known as "Link Popularity"

How famous our site among the other sites (with a particular target keyword) will be a consideration in determining search engine positioning of our site in search engine result.

Based on the experience of internet marketers who have been successful, Off-Page Optimization is very important now, even that says Off-Page Optimization is much more important than the On-Page Optimization. But I think both of them are important to get a high ranking on search engines.

The main components of the Of-Page Optimization, or to determine how famous our site is through the quality back links. So if you want the robot is considered as a famous site we need to have a lot of quality back links.

Back Link have 2 types:

1. One direction or One Way Back Link, where other site link to our site, but our site does not link back to the site. This is usually our sites have information that is considered interesting and he recommended to the visitor of their site.

2. Two-way (mutual link). Also known as "Link Exchange" or exchange links. Note that One Way Back Link has a wine better on search engine than two-way link.

Which link back is good for the Off-Page Optimization?

Many webmasters make the mistake and has wrong mind with Back Link. They tried to find link partners as much as possible without examining the positions, topic and status of the site which will be invited to become their Link-Partner.

To avoid this the following steps are necessary to find a quality Back Link:

1. When searching for potential link partners, select the same site, or at least close to the topic or topics related to our site.

2. Search site potential link partners with high-rank page.

3. When we do Link Exchange see where they will put the link. Usually they have a special page for Link Partner, see the page rank of the special page, either they have a high page rank or not. This is very important.

Note: Page Rank of each page of your site in one domain can be different. Although the main page has a high Page Rank, the other Page Rank can be lower or even zero. Or the Page Rank of the main page is lower but the other pages inside is higher. This can be caused by the On-Page Optimization and Link Back obtained by the page.

Conclusion:

– Do not exchange links with the other sites with different theme. – Do not link sites that has Page Rank 0 – When you want to Link Exchange, do not accept the link of our site is putting in the page with Page-Rank 0

4. Calculate how many link partners were there! Do not try to link the sites that have links Partner or save more than 50 links on one page!

Note: Value of Page Rank will be divided evenly with all of the existing link partners. More number of link partners that are stored in one page, the smaller Rank value will receive by each link partner.

5. Look at Anchor Text used for our site at the site of link partners, is already in line with our target keyword? Anchor Text must be the keyword of our target.

Many Webmasters are looking for Link Partner as much as possible without considering the above. Actually we do not need to find thousands of links to sites we create are considered by a robot, just looking for 30-60 quality links that are eligible that have been described above.

The Main points of the Off-Page Optimization:

1. Try the link + description of our website are there in the other sites, this is called the Back Links.

2. There are two kinds of Back Links: One Way Back Links (one-way link) and Link Exchange (exchange link).

3. For Link Exchange, search for related theme site.

4. Search potential site link partners that has high Page-Rank. Download Google toolbar http://toolbar.google.com to know the Page Rank of a site. When is found contact them to exchange links.

5. If they agree, check where the link is placed, see the Page Rank page, do not accept a link placed on the page Rank 0.

6. Calculate how many links that are posted on there, do not link to a site that has a link partner of more than 50 links in one page.

7. Always use the Anchor Text, the site's main keywords should be used the description of the link on the site of link partner.

Note: Although we have done all the above correctly, free traffic from search engines will not come immediately, but takes time. Give time 5 months to 1 year to see the results. While waiting for the results we can make another site. Remember, SEO is the most important thing in Internet Marketing .

5 Things To Consider When You Buy Clothes For Your Baby

If you think that shopping for a baby is a simple affair, then it is time to think again. With so many options to choose from, it is difficult to make up your mind. Whether you are buying clothes for your child or for the children of your friends or relatives, you need to consider few factors.

The first and the most essential point that you must remember is that you should buy clothes that are at least one size ahead of the baby's present age. This is because babies grow very fast in the first few months and buying larger clothes will make sure that you can use them for a longer time.

The second important thing that you should take into account is the season when the baby will actually put on the outfit. If you are planning ahead and buying clothes for your newborn that it can wear in the near future, choose the specific range of outfits designed for different seasons.

The third factor in the list is to buy clothes that match your baby's need. As it is already said that babies grow very fast, do not buy very expensive outfits for it. Be realistic in your choice and choose outfits that are easy to put on and remove. Go for a bodysuit and a few pairs of comfortable pants, buy lots of bibs, booties and hats that your baby will need more often than any other designer dress. Pick the clothes that allow easy diaper change. Go for those dresses that have two pieces and do not opt ​​for single-piece outfits that do not allow you to access and change the baby's diaper easily.

The fourth thing in this list of discussion is to choose clothes that you can wash and dry very easily. Babies soil their clothes now and then and so it is important to buy out that that does not keep the stains or marks and are easy to clean.

Last but not the least, when you are buying clothes for your little one, make sure you choose clothes that you can use for both boys and girls. This is all the more important if you are planning to have more children in the future. You can reuse these clothes and save a lot of money.

Now that you know what to look for when you go shopping for your sweetheart, there is no chance of any confusion. Whether you shop online or offline, these points will guide you towards the right clothes for your baby.